Take charge now, it’s too late when you die!

Congratulations! You Have Got The Job Of A Lifetime! Today, you are in charge. Infact, from right now, you are in charge not just today but every day. Yes there’s no boss to report in to, just you. You are the only one for the job. You are appointed, Manager Of Life.

If you don’t manage your own life, who is going to? So, if you are not getting absolutely everything you would like out of this precious little, once in a life time, thing called life, there’s no one to sack, no one else to blame, no need to resign, just change it to how you would like to be. The buck stops with you.

This is great news because, that means you get to make all the decisions AND you get to do it now, not when you die (it’s too late by then)

What? Me? In Charge? Now?

Yeah baby. You had better believe it. Wake up and smell the coffee. You get to choose, you get to steer, you get to direct the when, who, what and why of your life. And you get to do it right now.

Blimey Guvnor, I can’t do that, there’s some things that I can’t change.

Well this is when things just get even better. You see you are in charge of your own life in absolutely everything. And in the reality of life (outside of this blog) that means you get to take charge of the two lots of ‘stuff’ that life tends to be divided into
1 Stuff that happens, you can choose how you react to it..so you get to feel great
2 Stuff that you make happen. Creating the stuff that happens to you… so you get to feel great

See, you get to choose everything, all the time. This ain’t no part time job!

Hang on, hang on a cotton picking minute, that sounds tricky and I’m not used to it.

You bet! Being in charge of your own life is a bit of a realisation. It takes a moment to sink in, to take a deep breath and say ‘flipping heck that’s a bit of a responsibility.’

And there’s something else. It’s easy! You already know how to do it, You have all the equipment you need already inside you. You know what is important to you, you know what makes you laugh, what makes your heart sing, what makes you angry. You know what you are not happy about and you know what you dream about. You have full permission to accept the role of manager from now, we’ve looked and there is no one more qualified for the role, No one else has this unique combination of stuff that makes up ‘you’.

So all you have to do is begin to listen to what is already inside you – the stuff that makes you, yes you, feel good. The stuff that you are made of is your very own, in built ‘manage my life’ tool kit.

So how exactly do I begin to take charge then?

It’s easy, all you need to do to begin to manage your life is to listen to what feels right, for you, – ALL the time. It takes a bit of practice and a bit of self discipline. 50 times a day, in the queue for a coffee, cleaning your teeth, in the middle of a meeting, driving home, wherever you are, get into the habit of asking yourself these three questions:
Right now
‘What do I feel’
‘What do I need’

What do I choose’

You’ll start by getting really confident about the stuff that happens to you because you’ll react in a way that really feels like you. That feels great. You feel in powerful, constantly. Then, as you get the taste for it and get more confident in this ‘listening to yourself’ lark, you’ll begin to discover the utter wonder of ‘creating stuff’ you want part. That feels even better.

So are you ready to accept the position of manager of your own life and act only from what feels right to you?

Take it from us, it’s bloomin marvellous stuff

How to spot someone who hasn’t accepted the job.
They show signs of being a bit hard done to by life, by circumstance and by others
They are defensive, spending life mostly protecting themselves from risk
They like /need things their own way, it’s safer and more controlled that way.
They focus on the wrong or bad, rather than on the right or good.
They have a tendency to complain because they don’t feel things are in their control or that they have a choice.

How to spot someone who has accepted the job.
They’re calmer, generally more happy with their lot because they know everything is in their power to change.
They are open to and curious about others.
They positively acknowledge stuff and people, regularly.
They show gratitude.
They always skip the ‘story’ and go to the ‘person’.

Fulfilment, May 2014

Time To Do A Selfie And Give Yourself The Thumbs Up Just Like Stephen

Doing a selfie by taking a photo of you in the ‘here and now’ and having a quick look at it for fun before you post it on social media for all to see, is a craze sweeping the world. And it doesn’t just have to be a visual exercise.

Taking a snapshot of yourself in the here and now is always a healthy and fun thing to do at any point. It makes you stop and say ‘hang on a mo, let me have a quick look at me, right now, how am I looking?’

And we’re not just referring to the visual look, we’re referring to how you’re shaping up in terms of the life you want to lead.

Just look at Stephen Sutton, his selfie was a plea to others to make every part of life count, just as he chose to do. It just happened to be a selfie that has today, the day of his memorial service, raised £4m on his just giving page.

So how about taking a selfie right now and asking yourself if you’re shaping up to the live the life you want to live?

Complete our ‘Be More Of You’ Selfie

Let’s start with the question that everyone should be able to answer

1 I believe that I deserve to life a full and fulfilling life. Yes/No
(Don’t worry if your answer is ‘no’ it is a common answer and just means that something, probably a saboteur, is holding you back. Coaching begins here)

2 I dream of a life where I……..(go on, name it, list everything, be bold)

3 At home I want a life where I…….(and this space)

4 At work I want a life where I……..(and this space)

5 If I really push myself and believe there is no boundaries then
What I’d be doing is…….
How I’d be feeling is……

Taking this quick selfie gives you a snap shot moment in time of how you are shaping up. It if throws up some interesting things for you then great. Play with the answers. Give yourself the thumbs up just for doing it.
The one aim for all of us, right now, in this moment in time has to be inspired by Stephen Sutton. Life is short. Life it to the full. That means knowing you deserve to live the life your dream of ,really believing that you can and changing it so you do.
Be More of You.
Right Now.

Unconditional Positive Regard
Unconditional Positive Regard


So You Want To Be Happy?

And so you should. You deserve to be. Everyone deserves to be. And congratulations on the first step towards it – asking what it would take.

(One little, tiny, weeny point before we start, if we’re being fussy, is that ‘happy’ is a temporary state, being fulfilled is often a richer and more permanent state, so how about aiming for that instead?)

So you want to be fulfilled? Good for you and rightly so. So how on earth do we get to be ‘fulfilled’? No one teaches us that at school, evening classes in fulfillment are few and far between and besides we’re much better and knowing and identifying what doesn’t fulfill us.

We often don’t know how to be fulfilled until we focus our efforts on it.

So how do you find space to work on being fulfilled among the busy days of working life and family life?

We’ll here’s a wonderful, 5 minutes short-cut that is all you need to work towards becoming fulfilled, It forms one of the fundamental principles of the work you will do with your coach.

It’s like this.

In life we have stuff to DO and we have a way that we like to BE because it makes us feel good.

We DO stuff like work, be a mum, clean the house, go to the supermarket, go to the pub, have dinner.

How we choose to BE is determined by our values, what matters to us and what makes us feel great.

Being fulfilled means skipping right over ‘DO’ and starting everything with how we want to BE.

So how do you want to BE? Calm? Friendly? Peaceful? Free?

How do you want to BE at work? With friends? At the meeting tonight? With your children?

If you were to BE like that, how would that feel? (the answer is usually ‘great’)

You see, we often start seeking fulfillment from what we DO. I’m not fulfilled so I’ll ‘DO” something different. STOP. Skip right over that. Start seeking fulfillment be deciding how you want BE and the feelings that gives you. Seek those feelings all the time and in every situation and you will begin to experience what it is to be fulfilled, in everything.

Go on, try it. Skip right over the DO and ask yourself how to do I want to BE.

Notice what happens….

Be more…. of you xx

Fulfilment, January 2014

Supply Your Own Sunshine in 2 Easy Steps

Supply Your Own Sunshine In 2 Easy Steps

In this dreary weather, where rain is the norm, forecasts remain ‘mixed’ at best and Spring seems to be stalling, how on earth are you expected to feel good?

The answer is to know what fills you up.

No, not pies or pasta but what fills you up with good, warm, happy, feelings of fulfillment.

Step one: Know what fills you up
This isn’t easy. We constantly know what we don’t like, what makes us feel bad, what we want less of. Knowing what you want more of and taking notice of what it is that fills you up is not something that we’re too familiar with.

Finding out what makes you beam from the inside does takes practice and a bit of a decision to focus on it for a while.

Remember a time when you last felt most alive. When you really felt ‘very you’. What was is that you were doing? How did you feel? What was it about that situation that made you feel like that?

For me, it is on the beginning of the runway on a plane that is about to take off. The mixture of freedom, un-known adventures, travel and a little fear is just fabulous. Outdoor swimming in the morning also makes me shine inside for the rest of the day.

Ask yourself. What do you want more of?supplyyourown

Remember, the word ‘want‘ is not selfish, not greedy, it is the doorway to fulfillment. So ask yourself what you want more of. When I was asked that question, fresh air, flowers around the house, quality time talking with friends, playing games with my niece and nephew to stretch their (and my) imagination and candyfloss (?!) all came up.

Step two: Go out and collect your own sunshine

Now pack your day with things that bring you sunshine, that internal glow of being fulfilled. There are things that you can put into the next hour, the next day, the next week and the next month. The longer the list of things that bring your sunshine the more you have to select from.

So go and discover, then go and collect and enjoy basking in the sunshine of fulfillment.

….and when you have, don’t forget to notice the impact you have on yourself and the impact you have on others.