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Fulfilment

So You Want To Be Happy?

And so you should. You deserve to be. Everyone deserves to be. And congratulations on the first step towards it – asking what it would take.

(One little, tiny, weeny point before we start, if we’re being fussy, is that ‘happy’ is a temporary state, being fulfilled is often a richer and more permanent state, so how about aiming for that instead?)

So you want to be fulfilled? Good for you and rightly so. So how on earth do we get to be ‘fulfilled’? No one teaches us that at school, evening classes in fulfillment are few and far between and besides we’re much better and knowing and identifying what doesn’t fulfill us.

We often don’t know how to be fulfilled until we focus our efforts on it.

So how do you find space to work on being fulfilled among the busy days of working life and family life?

We’ll here’s a wonderful, 5 minutes short-cut that is all you need to work towards becoming fulfilled, It forms one of the fundamental principles of the work you will do with your coach.

It’s like this.

In life we have stuff to DO and we have a way that we like to BE because it makes us feel good.

We DO stuff like work, be a mum, clean the house, go to the supermarket, go to the pub, have dinner.

How we choose to BE is determined by our values, what matters to us and what makes us feel great.

Being fulfilled means skipping right over ‘DO’ and starting everything with how we want to BE.

So how do you want to BE? Calm? Friendly? Peaceful? Free?

How do you want to BE at work? With friends? At the meeting tonight? With your children?

If you were to BE like that, how would that feel? (the answer is usually ‘great’)

You see, we often start seeking fulfillment from what we DO. I’m not fulfilled so I’ll ‘DO” something different. STOP. Skip right over that. Start seeking fulfillment be deciding how you want BE and the feelings that gives you. Seek those feelings all the time and in every situation and you will begin to experience what it is to be fulfilled, in everything.

Go on, try it. Skip right over the DO and ask yourself how to do I want to BE.

Notice what happens….

Be more…. of you xx
BE-more

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Responsibility

Be Response-able For Being More of You

Be Response-able For Being More Of You

Guess what! Good news!

You can choose how you respond to anything and anyone at anytime.

Sounds simple? It may do AND few of us actually do it, even though once you start choosing your response – or becoming response-able – you bring out more of you.

Basically it’s like this.

When something happens, or someone says something, one of three things happen.

1 You respond by habit – in the way we’ve always responded in similar situations and don’t even think about it.
or
2 You respond by emotion – reacting by how we feel and again without too much thought.
or
3 You pause, listen to ourselves and to what is important to us and then choose how we want to respond.

Option 3 is the gem. You don’t have to be angry, you don’t have to make the comment you usually make, you don’t have to mirror the situation you see or the person speaking to you. You can choose your own response.

Blimey, it is simple!

And it feels great, you feel powerful and you feel like you’re showing people only the very best of the wonderful you all the time.

Being response-able, allows you to
– Show up as you, not just when you remember to do so.
– Live in a way that is in line with your values
– Feel good because you’ve been how you wanted to be
– Generate better and lasting relationships
– Have a genuine and powerful impact on others.
– Feel like you’ll never have any ‘un-conscious’ responses again.

And there it is, short and exceptionally sweet.

So next time something happens, whether it is a shock piece of news, a comment from your friend or someone pushing into you in a queue infront…..pause…..think what’s important to you…… choose…..and respond.

Once you get a taste for ‘response-ability’ we think there’s no going back. Enjoy

BMOY xx
response-ability

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Fulfilment, January 2014

Supply Your Own Sunshine in 2 Easy Steps

Supply Your Own Sunshine In 2 Easy Steps

In this dreary weather, where rain is the norm, forecasts remain ‘mixed’ at best and Spring seems to be stalling, how on earth are you expected to feel good?

The answer is to know what fills you up.

No, not pies or pasta but what fills you up with good, warm, happy, feelings of fulfillment.

Step one: Know what fills you up
This isn’t easy. We constantly know what we don’t like, what makes us feel bad, what we want less of. Knowing what you want more of and taking notice of what it is that fills you up is not something that we’re too familiar with.

Finding out what makes you beam from the inside does takes practice and a bit of a decision to focus on it for a while.

Remember a time when you last felt most alive. When you really felt ‘very you’. What was is that you were doing? How did you feel? What was it about that situation that made you feel like that?

For me, it is on the beginning of the runway on a plane that is about to take off. The mixture of freedom, un-known adventures, travel and a little fear is just fabulous. Outdoor swimming in the morning also makes me shine inside for the rest of the day.

Ask yourself. What do you want more of?supplyyourown

Remember, the word ‘want‘ is not selfish, not greedy, it is the doorway to fulfillment. So ask yourself what you want more of. When I was asked that question, fresh air, flowers around the house, quality time talking with friends, playing games with my niece and nephew to stretch their (and my) imagination and candyfloss (?!) all came up.

Step two: Go out and collect your own sunshine

Now pack your day with things that bring you sunshine, that internal glow of being fulfilled. There are things that you can put into the next hour, the next day, the next week and the next month. The longer the list of things that bring your sunshine the more you have to select from.

So go and discover, then go and collect and enjoy basking in the sunshine of fulfillment.

….and when you have, don’t forget to notice the impact you have on yourself and the impact you have on others.

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Positivity

How To Feel Brilliant Today

Unconditional Positive Regard

This is a beauty.

What empowered people and strong leaders (that’s you) have in bucket loads is Unconditional Positive Regard.

Unconditional Positive Regard is a total commitment to see other people purely in the positive, seeing only good intention in all situations and at any time, without fail, without question. It is accepting that people, just like you have hopes, dreams and values that are equal to yours and may be different.

Unconditional positive regard for others is not a skill to be learned. It is just a powerful and positive choice that anyone can make. Practicing it unleashes more of you.

When you allow yourself to see others purely in a positive light, you see people and situations differently and have a greater impact on those you are with.

While it has a profound effect on how those around you respond to you, it will also have a huge effect on you, quite simply changing the way you see the world for the better and therefore the way you feel.

When it is used it quickly becomes second nature,

Give it a go right now…

Think about the last situation in which you felt uncomfortable, perhaps you felt aggressive, blamed others, complained, felt anger or took on the role of the victim.

What was it that made you feel that way?

Now think of that situation again.

This time hold the other person/people involved only positive regard.

What just happened? How did you see the situation differently? What was the change in how you felt? What information or perspective did you see that you hadn’t seen before?

Unconditional Positive Regard Does Two Things

Unconditional positive regard for others is a short cut to you being empowered. When you practice it, two things happen
1. It immediately removes any sense of ‘victim’ or ‘done to’ and other negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings.
2. When that happens, the ‘unconscious or habitual reaction of feeling anger, blame or like a victim’ is replaced with a ‘conscious response’ that you choose and is driven by your values and what you consider to be important.

And that helps you to be more of you, inject positivity into others and to you.

And THAT feels great.

It’s Impact On You

Holding others in unconditional positive regard keeps you calm, keeps you tapped into your sense of self and your own power. Because your outlook will change, so will your language and you conversation, which means you will create possibility, and positiveness that feels great.

It’s Impact On Others

You will find that having unconditional positive regard will keep the focus for those in any situation on something bigger, something more important, something more deserving of their (and your) energies and time.

Practicing Brings A Whole Lot Of Wonderfulness

Your response to almost everything will be more considered and positive.

You will feel great, calm, more detached from others and more engaged with them.

Your language will change to reflect your view of the world

You will have a positive impact on those around you.

You’ll be able to handle conflict and difficult situations more effectively.

Your mind will remain open to thoughts

Your heart will remain open to others

Your thoughts and energy will be used to create and think bigger.

You will be more detached to the situation and more close to the person

Practice unconditional positive regard and you will be more of you

Unconditional Positive Regard
Unconditional Positive Regard
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Intention, January 2014

What’s Your Intention?

What’s Your Intention?

Becoming More Of You is about being aware that you have choices.

One of the most powerful choices available to you at all times of day and in all situations is that of intention.

Intention is a conscious choice. Your intention fuels how you are, how you do things and the end result. It can shape the outcome of a conversation, effect how you make others feel, determine whether you have a good or a bad day, make meetings more productive and make what seem like far off dreams quickly become a reality.

Most people have at least a couple of intentions in any one day; I’m going to stop for a coffee on the way into work, I’m going to finish that report, I’m going to have curry for tea.

So imagine if you bring more intention to your life and work, not only what you’re going to ‘do’ but how you’re going to ‘be’ while you do it?

Start making choices about your intention and you will become more of you. You will begin to bring out more of your values, relieve anxiety and saboteurs and have a greater chance of a success.

Set Your Intention.

Instead of thinking what you are going to do or say in the interview….
…think about how you intend to approach or prepare for your interview. How do you want to be in your interview? What feelings do you intend to leave the interviewers with?
It’s your choice, what’s your intention?

Instead of accepting the state of tiredness in the morning…
…choose how you wish to feel in the day and what your intend to feel at the end of the day.
It’s your choice. What’s your intention?

Instead of dreading a difficult conversation and wondering what to ‘do’ or ‘say’.. …set your intention for how you want to be in that conversation, what is important to you during the conversation? What is important to you at the end of the conversation?
It’s your choice. What’s your intention?

The impact

Quite simply you get to live in a way you want to live.

See The Intention Of Others, Look Beyond Their Words

Seeing and experiencing the power of intention is one thing, seeing the intention of others is a big step to great relationships and effective communication.

Just like you are able to choose your intention at any time of day and in any situation, you can also choose to see the intention of others. That means looking behind what they are saying, going behind the words and spotting what their intention is behind their behaviour or words.

What are you ten intentions?

1. My intention for the day is…………………..
2. My intention for the week is…………………
3. My intention for the month is……………….
4. My intention for the next five years is……
5. My intention with my partner is……………
6. My inention with my boss is………………….
7. My intention with my friends is…………….
8. My intention in my career is…………………
9. My intention for this decision is……………
10. My intention for me, right now is…………..

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January 2014

The A-Z of How To Be More Of You

Being more of you does take a bit of work. We like to think of it as a bit like going to the gym, a work out for the mind instead of the body. You see sometimes things send us off track and we feel all ‘out of sorts’. So how do you get that feeling of ‘everything is in line’ more of the time?

To help, we’ve put together this wonderful little book, ‘The A-Z of How To Be More Of You’.

It is a fun-filled gem of a thing that gives you 26 things to work on. Keep it to hand and choose one every day to try out.

You’ll feel great

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